May Contain Bolts

Over the past week I’ve come to realise just how tight-knit we are as a community. On Tuesday, as the clock wound down to 3PM in physics, Ryan sitting next to me had just had all his stuff nuggeted. Again. “They even nuggeted my blazer,” he quipped to me, as he threw down the inverted garment onto the table. Then it hit me.

Where was my blazer?

And so began the chase for my blazer. Somewhere between lunch and 3PM, I had dumped my blazer (due to the heat), and forgotten to pick it up. (silly me) I know, my phone was in my blazer! Problem solved! I find HTL near Barrengarry after checking lost property, and ask to borrow his phone.

“The number you have dialed is currently unavailable.”

Crap. I had turned my phone off earlier because of Awards Day. So, my phone, my blazer and my myopia movie ticket are missing. And so the running began again – the oval (where I had been watching the epic 3on3 match between Ruilong’s and Weezy’s team), the canteen (where Ms. F brought a cake for our little chem party), P2.1 (a double, where I may have left it on the floor or similar). No cigar.

I move to the bus bay to see some unknown bus. Not having my phone, I’ve lost all sense of time. I pass Cabbage, and Petey’s physics group on the front lawn, wave, complain, and continue on to the Carlo. Silly me and my absent mind. This isn’t the first time either. I dropped my old phone on the oval once in year 8. And I lost my school hat in year 9.

But, somehow, they both made it back to me.

On the train, I mope a bit again, I meet with my south-side crew at Redfern again, I mope a bit more. They cheer me up, the silliness of a year 9 Baulko kid, the stoned emo highness of a year 10 Ruse kid and the warmth of a year 12 NSG girl.

That night, with nowhere else to turn to, I hit Facebook, and post an FML. Within 3 minutes, Bosco hits back, giving me a right old slap across the face. (not really) They had been waiting for me on the Eastwood. Nicole had picked up the blazer from wherever I had left it (I was too overjoyed to ask  where ), and had ended up lugging it home after I failed to make my regular appearance on the bus. (thank you so much again! )

—

It’s moments like these that I’ll really miss. The greetings, the quirky characters, the fuzzy feelings I get on the inside from the smiles on people’s faces. And the mutual trust we have in one another. The trust built over 6 years, as we’ve seen each other grow and mature. Through the highs and the lows, the times when maybe we’ve felt a little overcast inside, and the times when we’re more radiant than the sun. Everyday, when I wake up and head off, I know I’ll be able to wave and smile, and see them wave back.

Moments. The small things we take forgranted once they’re gone. 86400 moments in a day. If I could go back, would I change anything? As we close off our life at Ruse, and move on to bigger, scarier things, I want to say that I have no regrets, and I’m looking forward to the future.

But I can’t. I wish I could take some of those moments back, and try to change who I am. Maybe I would know you better. Maybe if I wasn’t so shy, and awkward, I would be as cool or awesome as that guy or girl.

Missed opportunity. Regret. If you have none, then good for you. Write a book. Maybe you can help me to find me, to figure out where exactly this road in front of me is taking me. To find where I’m supposed to be, what I could have and should have done. What I’m meant to do now.

I want to say that I will never forget you all, and I really hope I don’t, even as we seemingly disperse into this massive world. I’ve loved every moment we’ve shared, every second you’ve spent with me. Thank you for taking me as I am, the fragile me, the sleepless me, and being a friend to me. (if you’ve hated me deep on the inside too, that’s cool too ) The 6 years you’ve made me laugh, you’ve made me cry (like the time I got dakked for the first time ever at yr7 peer support camp Hi Jen Chen and Gavin!), you’ve built me up and taught this little birdy to fly. The kid who used to wear his pants up high, who is scared of bikes. (after massively stacking it when he was a kid) The kid who never thought he would conquer his stagefright (after falling over in a school musical as a little primary school kid). You’ve pushed me higher, forced me to keep going even when it all looked grim.

To Jazzog, I shall miss you all dearly. My Fridays will never be the same again. The songs, the joy you’ve given me over the past year, week in, week out. May the spirit live on in our hearts and voices (that doesn’t even make any sense)

To my musical and drama production buddies, the nights and Saturdays spent were some of the best times of my life. I’m so disappointed I didn’t get involved earlier/do drama in year 10. You were awesome, and we put on quite a show (and I’ll remember the fact that I made Shiva’s sister cry )

So thank you everyone. And may we make the most of the time we have left together.

P.S. This guy likes hugs.